Divorce Letter

Dear Wife:

I'm writing you this letter to
tell you that I'm
leaving you forever. I've been a
good man to you
for seven years and I have nothing
to show for it.

These past two weeks have been
hell. Your boss
called to tell me that you quit
your job today and
that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and
didn't even notice
that I had a new haircut, had
cooked your favorite
meal and even wore a brand new
pair of silk boxers.
You ate in two minutes, and went
straight to sleep
after watching all your soaps. You
don't tell me
you love me anymore; you don't
want sex o anything
that connects u! s as husband and
wife.

Either you're cheating on me or
you don't love me
anymore; whatever the case, I'm
gone.

Your EX-Husband

P.S. Don't try to find me. Your
SISTER and I are
moving away to West Virginia
together! Have a great
life!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ** * * * * * * * **

Dear Ex-Husband:

Nothing has made my day more than
receiving your
letter. It's true that you and I
have been married
for seven years, although a good
man is a far cry
from what you've been.

I watch my soaps so much because
they drown out
your constant whining and griping.
Too bad that
doesn't work.

I DID notice when you got a hair
cut last week, but
the first ! thing that came to my
mind was 'You look
just like a girl !' Since my
mother raised me not to
say anything if you can't say
something nice, I
didn't comment.

And when you cooked my favorite
meal, you must have
gotten me confused with MY SISTER,
because I stopped
eating pork seven years ago!

About those new silk boxers: I
turned away from
you because the $49.99 price tag
was still on them,
and I prayed that it was a
coincidence that MY
SISTER had just borrowed fifty
dollars from me that
morning.

After all of this, I still loved
you and felt that
we could work it out. So when I
hit the lotto for
ten million dollars, I quit my job
and bought us two
tickets to Jamaica. But when I got
home you were
gone. Everything happens for a
reason, I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling
life ! you always
wanted. My lawyer said that the
letter you wrote
ensures you won't get a dime from
me. So take care.

Signed,

Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and
Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told
you this, but my
sister Carla was born Carl. I hope
that's not a
problem.

Tongue Twisters

Twister Shorties: (say them a few times). Some are common, some are raunchy, some are poems..

Greek grapes.

Red lorry, yellow lorry.
Which wristwatches are Swiss wristwatches?
Unique New York.
Many an anemone sees an enemy anemone.
Freshly-fried flying fish.
The epitome of femininity.
A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the
stump stunk, but the stump thunk the
skunk stunk.
She stood on the balcony, inexplicably
mimicing him hiccupping, and amicably
welcoming him home.
Imagine an imaginary menagerie manager
imagining managing an imaginary
menagerie.

Common Twisters:

She sells seashells by the seashore.
The shells she sells are surely
seashells. So if she sells shells on
the seashore, I'm sure she sells
seashore shells.
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled
peppers. Did Peter Piper pick a peck
of pickled peppers? If Peter Piper
Picked a peck of pickled peppers,
Where's the peck of pickled peppers
Peter Piper picked?
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck
If a woodchuck could chuck wood? He
would chuck, he would, as much as he
could, And chuck as much as a
woodchuck would If a woodchuck could
chuck wood.

Tongue Twister Poems:

Mr. See owned a saw. And Mr. Soar
owned a seesaw. Now, See's saw sawed
Soar's seesaw Before Soar saw See,
Which made Soar sore. Had Soar seen
See's saw Before See sawed Soar's
seesaw, See's saw would not have sawed
Soar's seesaw. So See's saw sawed
Soar's seesaw. But it was sad to see
Soar so sore just because See's saw
sawed Soar's seesaw.
Betty Botter had some butter, "But,"
she said, "this butter's bitter. If I
bake this bitter butter, It would make
my batter bitter. But a bit of better
butter, That would make my batter
better." So she bought a bit of
butter - Better than her bitter
butter - And she baked it in her
batter; And the batter was not bitter.
So 'twas better Betty Botter Bought a
bit of better butter.
Ned Nott was shot and Sam Shott was
not. So it is better to be Shott than
Nott. Some say Nott was not shot. But
Shott says he shot Nott. Either the
shot Shott shot at Nott was not shot,
Or Nott was shot. If the shot Shott
shot shot Nott, Nott was shot. But if
the shot Shott shot shot Shott, Then
Shott was shot, not Nott. However, the
shot Shott shot shot not Shott, but
Nott.
A tree-toad loved a she-toad Who lived
up in a tree. He was a two-toed tree-
toad, But a three-toed toad was she.
The two-toed tree-toad tried to win
The three-toed she-toad's heart, For
the two-toed tree-toad loved the
ground That the three-toed tree-toad
trod. But the two-toed tree-toad tried
in vain; He couldn't please her whim.
From her tree-toad bower, With her
three-toad power, The she-toad vetoed
him.


Raunchy Twisters:

I'm not a smart feller, I'm a smart
feller's son And I'll keep felling
smarts 'Till the smart feller comes.
I'm not a fog ducker, I'm a fog
ducker's son And I'll keep ducking
fogs 'Till the fog ducker comes.
I am not the fig plucker, I'm a fig
plucker's son. And I'll keep plucking
figs 'Till the fig plucker comes. or
Im not a pheasant plucker Im a
pheasant pluckers son, and Ill sit
here plucking pheasants til the
pheasant plucker comes
I slit the sheet, the sheet I slit;
and on the slitted sheet I sit.

Before and After the Wedding

* Some of these might be true.... hahaha

Before - You take my breath away
After - I feel like I'm suffocating

Before - Twice a night
After - Twice a month

Before - She says she loves the way I take control of a situation
After - She called me a controlling, manipulative egomaniac

Before - Saturday Night Fever
After - Monday Night Football

Before - Don't stop
After - Don't start

Before - Is that all you're having?
After - Maybe you should have just a salad, honey

Before - It's like I'm living in a dream
After - It's like he lives in a dorm

Before - $60/dozen
After - $1.50/stem

Before - Turbocharged
After - Jump-start

Before - We agree on everything
After - We can't agree on anything

Before - Victoria's Secret
After - Fruit-of-the-Loom

Before - Idol
After - Idle

Before - He's completely lost without me
After - Why won't he ever ask for directions?

Before - Time stood still
After - Where did the time go?

Before - Croissant and cappuccino
After - Bagel and instant

Before - I can hardly believe we found each other
After - I can't believe I ended up with someone like you

Before - Passion
After - Ration

for a change

i've been trying to change my blog template...
sorry for the inconvenience...
please bear with me =>

Nokia 'Burn Batt'

BL-5C
The BL-5C batteries which are subject to the product advisory were used with the following Nokia models or separately as accessories:


Nokia 1100, Nokia 1100c, Nokia 1101,
Nokia 1108, Nokia 1110, Nokia 1112,
Nokia 1255, Nokia 1315, Nokia 1600,
Nokia 2112, Nokia 2118, Nokia 2255,
Nokia 2272, Nokia 2275, Nokia 2300,
Nokia 2300c, Nokia 2310, Nokia 2355,
Nokia 2600, Nokia 2610, Nokia 2610b,
Nokia 2626, Nokia 3100, Nokia 3105,
Nokia 3120, Nokia 3125, Nokia 6030,
Nokia 6085, Nokia 6086, Nokia 6108,
Nokia 6175i, Nokia 6178i, Nokia 6230,
Nokia 6230i, Nokia 6270, Nokia 6600,
Nokia 6620, Nokia 6630, Nokia 6631,
Nokia 6670, Nokia 6680, Nokia 6681,
Nokia 6682, Nokia 6820, Nokia 6822,
Nokia 7610, Nokia N70, Nokia N71, Nokia
N72, Nokia N91, Nokia E50, Nokia E60

This product advisory applies also to the following accessories:

Nokia Wireless GPS Module LD-1W,
Nokia Wireless GPS Module LD-3W

for more details, visit:
http://batteryreplacement.nokia.com/batteryreplacement/en/

HP stuff

Dan, Emma & Rupert Hand, Feet and Wand Ceremony in Hollywood



unscripted interview

to my dear daughter

Mama loves you.
Be a good girl.
Mwah!

HP5 soundtrack

eight - eight & nine

yesterday, i finished reading HP7... i've been reading it for almost 3 weeks... ang tagal no... kasi been busy with so many things... helping Mama with this and that... taking care of my daughter... then came my nephew - also helping bro taking care of his son.

all i can say is - ALL ENDS WELL




this afternoon was Mama's departure... i pray for her safe flight.

'pamana'

from ate Venice... Barney computer... thanks, ate

this is my electronic keyboard... imagine how old it is... it is now my daughter's

look at her... as if an expert keyboardist... hehehe

macoy-coy

my 2-month old nephew, Marcus Aaron

"yo! mac, wazzup?!"

love u, mama!

tomorrow's mama's departure... balik US na sya to work again para sa mga gastusin dito... esp. with my nephew, Marcus and pambayad ng car ni Mama. ayaw na nga raw nya sanang umalis pero thinking about financial 'obligations' (also with our relatives kasi, you naman Pinoy, basta may kamag-anak sa abroad, parang gripo kung makalambing). mami-miss ko yung mga petty quarrels namin... at yung pag-asikaso nya dito sa bahay. i pray maganda na ang panahon tomorrow.


love you, mama! take care always!


"Lord, please give Mama good health, bless her always and please take good care of her esp. mag-isa sya sa apartment nya."

blessings!

we've been busy for the past few days preparing things for the arrival and baptism of my nephew, Marcus Aaron (picture of him, soon) and trying to close the deal at Toyota and PSBank for the Red Innova unit Mama wants to buy. need to practice driving at expressway esp. with kids as my passengers.

after those busy days, now we're busy taking care of my toddler-daughter and my infant-nephew... haay. we're also preparing for the 4-in-1 celebration of: advance birthday of France, Mama's thanksgiving, Mama's despedida - balik na po sya sa TX next week eh and Marcus's baptism last Tues.

Thank you Lord for all the blessings you gave, you are giving us and we are about to received! Bless also my parents - good health and guidance... pareho silang malayo sa amin and still working.

coke ko 'to

not now...

not in the mood for bloggin'...

been busy helping mama with her MA Thesis and with some things we need to accomplish before she goes back to TX

and busy reading the last HP book - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows... i won't be a spoiler... just read the book *wink*

basta i'll SOON post everything happened to me/us... kung meron nga..

Daniel Radcliffe

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY, DAN! Stay cool. God bless.


Eventhough you're a decade younger than me.. I admire you a lot. =>

all the BEST for AASE!

THE BEST PERSON:
- Nenita de Guzman-Ebreo, mader ko!!

THE BEST FILIPINO DISH:
- tinolang manok!!

THE BEST STREET FOOD:
- fish balls! isaw!

THE BEST BEVERAGE:
- cola, fruit shakes

THE BEST RESTAURANT:
- nku, hindi kmi msyadong nagre-resto.. pang food chain lang ako..

THE BEST FRUIT:
- ponkan

THE BEST CANDY:
- mentos.. the fresh maker

THE BEST CHEWING/BUBBLE GUM:
- judge chewing gum... hehehe

THE BEST PLACE THERE IN THE PHILS:
- Laguna!

THE BEST CIGARETTE:
- i'm not smoking

THE BEST BEER:
- san mig light

THE BEST PULUTAN:
- sisig/ adobong mani!

THE BEST PLACE FOR INUMAN:
- any house ng barkada will do

THE BEST PIECE OF CLOTHING:
- jeans

THE BEST BOUTIQUE THERE IN THE PHILS:
- hhmm

THE BEST FOOTWEAR:
- closed flat shoes

THE BEST ACCESSORY:
- earrings

THE BEST COLOR:
- black... to hide my flabs

THE BEST BAG:
- hhmm

THE BEST MALL:
- for me, lahat

THE BEST KIND OF PANTS:
- denim

THE BEST FRIEND:
- cuzin ko

THE WORST ENEMY:
- si A!!!!

THE BEST ANNOYING PERSON:
- si A pa rin!!

THE BEST GALANTE PERSON:
- si Julie Cordero-Queja!

THE BEST BITCH:
- si A pa rin!!

THE BEST PLASTIC:
- si A pa rin!!

THE BEST MAKULIT:
- sa barkada, si ryan elloso

THE STUPIDEST:
- i dont know.. minsan feeling ko ako ata?

longest survey?

90 questions
* hindi naman talaga 90 ito eh... may daya sa numbering..

90. First off, what is your name?
-- Aase Marie Ebreo-Mantalaba

89. What did you do last night?
-- nagligpit ng play area ng anak ko at nagpatulog

88. Do you have a same sex best friend that you can talk to 24/7?
-- yes

87. Do you have any siblings?
-- aha

86. Where are you exactly?
-- Abad St. Chrysanthemum Village, San Pedro, Laguna

85. Favorite color(s)?
-- black and white

84. What does the 7th message in your [cell] text inbox say? from who?
-- forwarded quote

83. Who sits beside you in math?
-- 4th yr. HS - between Joseph Romero and Renerio Sevilla

82. Who sits to the left of you in english?
-- paiba-iba upuan namin dun eh..

81. Where is your dad right now?
-- don't know kung ano sched nya ngayon eh... nsa K.S.A. sya

80. Do you have any kids?
-- yup

79. Who is the 5th person you got a missed call from?
-- just deleted my call logs

78. Closest black object?
-- this desktop PC and our landline unit

77. Closest silver object?
-- wala po... gray color ang madami

76. Have you ever jumped a fence for any reason?
-- nung bagong lipat kami dito (1985)... hinabol ako nung aso ng kapitbahay namin buti na lang mababa pa fence namin nun..

75. Do you sing in the shower?
-- sometimes na lang kasi pinakikiramdaman ko ang anak ko eh

74. Do you own any pets?
-- the usual.. dog

72. Last time you listened to country music?
-- can't remember

70. If you could kill someone, who would it be?
-- naku! 1 lang naman ang naiisip ko... if only lang naman eh...

69. What are your fears?
-- DYING YOUNG

68. What do you hear right now?
-- my daughter's Barney

67. How many drugs are in ur system right now?
-- wala po

65. What are you wearing?
-- white shirt and black shorts

64. Who was the last person to comment you?
-- wala

63. Do you sing?
-- i sing but i don't perform

62. Screamo or Country?
-- none

61. Rock or Rap?
-- both

60. Chocolate or vanilla?
-- chocolate

59. Who did you last call?
-- mama

58. Who last called you?
-- mama

57. What jewelry do you wear daily?
-- dati earrings nung nagwowork pa ako... pero now nasa bahay lang me, tinanggal ko muna

56. What are you doing now?
-- answering this 90 questions

55. Who was the last person you said I love you too?
-- hubby

54. Would you die for someone?
-- yes

53. If so, who?
-- my family

52. Are you cold right now?
-- nope

51. What do you smell right now?
-- none

50. Do you have to pee right now?
-- nope

49. What did you dream about last night?
-- hindi ko kasi nari-recall mga panaginip ko..

48. What are you doing tomorrow?
-- the usual

47. Where's the question?
-- what question?

46. Find it?
-- duh

45. How about now?
-- /:)

44. Bedsheet color?
-- white and blue

42. Carpet or wood in your room?
-- cement

41. Bad rumor about yourself that you've heard?
-- dunno

38. Can you do a cartwheel?
-- not anymore

37.What's your favorite candle scent?
-- none

35. America or Canada?
-- any

34. What makes you mad?
-- INCONSIDERATE PEOPLE

33. What if you found out you were adopted?
-- at first syempre sad ako... ok lang siguro

32. Jeans or Sweatpants?
-- jeans

29. Do you have socks on?
-- none

28. Do you own any big sunglasses?
-- no

27. Have you ever cried so hard you puked?
-- no

23. Have you recently talked to an ex..
-- ahm... yes, magbabarkada kami eh

22. Person who posted this before you?
-- leah lucero

19. Favorite TV show?
-- CSI: Las Vegas and New York, House, Smallville

18. Do you like 80s movies?
-- ok lang

16. Last two numbers in your cell phone number?
-- 17

15. What kinda music do you like?
-- depende sa mood ko

14. Are you a crazy stalker?
-- ahm... there was once nagpasama ako sa barkada kong nanliligaw sa akin na sundan yung crush ko para malaman ang bahay nya

13. Best country you've visited?
-- wala pa po... huhuhu

12. Been to London?
-- i hope...

10. Favorite subject at school?
-- wala... pero least fave ko ang math

9. Been to college?
-- yes

7. Favorite time of day?
-- morning, afternoon and night

6. Ever kissed someones cheek?
-- yes

5. Watch all Spiderman movies?
-- yes

3. What are you looking forward to?
-- hhmm

2. Ever gotten lost in the dark?
-- nope

1. Do you snore/talk/walk in your sleep?
-- snore and talk... walk, no

d' orioles and MOA

Roel, Frances and I ate lunch at d' orioles.. my college friend, Ivy, texted me kasi binyag na bunso nya. syempre, we chatted for awhile. *wink*


before 3pm, we went at Mall of Asia.. pinasyal namin si Mama dun. we bought some things, ate at Sbarro, while we're eating Papa called through my cellphone. we rented stroller for my Frances. after eating dinner, we walked around for awhile then went home at 8pm.

pictures.. soon.

at last!

yesterday, we watched Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix movie... i've been waiting for this. thank God, Mama's here to look after my daughter. we bought guaranteed seats at ATC... the 4:30pm screening was almost full... so we decided to take the 5:30pm screening.

Dumbledore's Army

the part where Harry last talked (and saw) with his godfather, Sirius

shortcut talaga yung movie... unlike kapag binasa mo yung book... marami ang hindi naipakita. maganda pa ring basahin ang book.

now, i'm waiting for the last HP book... wala akong pera pang advance order eh... i'll wait na lang..